The Problems of Being Very Beautiful


It sounds paradoxical to talk of the problems of being beautiful Almost so alive to all the advantages But oddly, being beautiful isn’t problem free There are a range of ailments, too little discussed, that go with being extremely beautiful And that we should all, perhaps, know a bit more about Here are some of the greatest The likelihood of having nothing to say is so high because Since you were 12 you’ve never had to begin a conversation They had to crack the jokes Just for the pleasure of seeing you smile Indeed, you often wanted to put people off Being a bit boring has been a sort of survival strategy It’s the only way to stop people pestering you You are weird about your body In bed you’re always wondering, “Is it me, or is it my body they want?” You want to be loved for the whole of who you are But your exterior is so fantastic, it overshadows anything else You want to be appreciated for your take on the french novel Your loyalty to your troubled sister, your views on the future of the left But even when people say the right things, the fears won’t go away They make too much sense Everyone assumes you are stupid They don’t wait to find out Their imaginations refuse to picture you carfeully unpicking a page of Plato Or analysing the state of the Swedish economy They like the idea of you being a bit dim You can’t be that beautiful and understand nuclear phsyics That would be too much good fortune ending up in one place Everyone insists you can’t be very intelligent No one imagines you have any problems Fortune, people feel, has smiled on you already You can’t need anything And that’s why they hate you A fair few people just like finding fault with you They feel you need to be shown that you’re nothing special Although you never claimed to be They’re using you To vent their frustrations with life in general You’re fair game, you’re too beautiful, they think, ever to be hurt Ageing is worse You have this rare thing Your body is ideal… for now That’s why getting older terrifies you a lot Yesterday you found another wrinkle Your left knee twinges when you climb the stairs You have so much to lose You’ll look in the mirror and foresee a wreck From being so high, the fall will be harder Fortunately, the problems of being very beautiful are transient Thankfully no one stays at the peak of loveliness for long Time will take your troubles away In a few years, almost certainly, your looks will have lost their uncanny perfection Your physique will shed its grace You’ll be nice enough looking But you will no longer be one of the outstandingly attractive ones And you will no longer share in their unique But very real, and very under-appreciated problems

6 comments

  1. I was walking down the street and a woman started violently yelling: “you slut, you skunk, you bitch whore” and I asked “what did I do?” Only for it to get worse, she almost physically hurt me if someone didn’t try to stop her, she continued yelling and swearing at me. Later I found out she was very jealous of my appearance. Yet the verbal abuse and harassment still leaves me in bed extremely depressed and disturbed by her behaviour. I’m sorry I do appreciate what god has given me but it hurts to be bullied because of it. Anyway I wish everyone all the best.

  2. Nothing wrong or upsetting about getting older, only if you happen to be conceited with regards appearance, a folly to try and stop nature, get on with it.

  3. They forgot to mention getting harassed or even attacked or killed! Can happen to anyone, true, and catcalls can be flattering, but getting attacked is not fun. You have to be careful and not go around alone.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *