How YouTuber Carrie Dayton Helped Me Like Myself More | Rikki Poynter


Hello, welcome back to the channel. Today, I want to talk about someone who plays a very big role in my life. One way or another,
this is gonna be a real feel good type of video. So, you may or may not know because some of you
might be new here, you know, I have struggled for a very long time
with my body, with food. I can remember this going on
since as young as middle school, you know, back when I had a friend who would poke my stomach
and say, “Baby,” and things like that. And in the last, I wanna say
it’s been four years, three to four years, I’ve gained a significant amount of weight,
at least for me. If you go back to my past videos, you will notice
and I’ve noticed it on the scale. And if I’m gonna be honest,
it wasn’t a feel-good time because I was struggling back then
when I was obviously smaller and so I was going to struggle now
because I never had a way of fixing it. And no matter how many times
I would try to go to the gym, things weren’t changing. But, it was just all like a form of
self-punishment and self-destruction, really. Rather than going to the gym
to try to be healthy and gain strength, I wanted to go to the gym to just
try to fit into the smallest size possible or at least to go back to what I was before. And earlier this year,
I made a video where I was talking about my body image and of my relationship with food, and I think I said something
along the lines of, I was going to stop worrying
about whatever it was and I was gonna do better. And if I’m gonna be quite honest,
I haven’t done better or I wasn’t doing better until I came across this woman
named Carrie Dayton on YouTube. She is like a breath of fresh air
and that I needed. If you don’t know who Carrie Dayton is,
she is a YouTuber, she does a lot of videos
about body positivity and being a mid-sized woman. She is size 12, size 14,
and the woman I needed in my life. I’ve spent a while going through
various body positivity YouTubers trying to find somebody who can relate
and just use that as something to help me. Obviously, therapy would be a lot better, which, I have therapy,
but it just, you know, when you don’t have
your therapy appointment, you want something else of substance
to help you out. But all these YouTubers, they weren’t helping me
for one reason. They were much smaller than me. So, I really couldn’t relate. That’s not to say that
people of various sizes cannot have body image issues and that they cannot make
these type of videos. I am all for making videos to help yourself,
to help other people, and obviously, anybody at any size
can have a bad relationship with body image, self-esteem and with food. But it was just so much harder to relate
to somebody that wasn’t my size. And finally, I found a Carrie Dayton
and it changed everything. I was at a really low point. This past year has been
a really low point for me and one of the things was jeans shopping. We all hate it, or many of us hate it, and especially in
the women’s department of jeans, it’s absolutely mind-boggling. You go to one store, you can go to multiple stores
and get, say, a size 12 and they’ll fit like a size 8, or be too big. It’s so frustrating, so confusing. And I was trying to go to H&M
and fit into their highest, which, at least in my store
is like a size 12, size 32, 33, whatever it is. It wasn’t working,
and I was feeling so defeated, I was hating myself
and I was hating my clothes and things like that. I didn’t know where to go, but then Miss Carrie Dayton
has loads of videos of her going to like Old Navy
and American Eagle and trying on their jeans
and other clothes. And finally, I thought to myself,
I’m going to go to American Eagle and I just want to see. I never really went to American Eagle. I was so scared of American Eagle, I was just like, “OK I’m gonna go to H&M,
this is the one store that I know,” but really it wasn’t… it wasn’t working for me. It was making me feel like crap
about my body. It wasn’t my fault,
I was thinking it was my fault but it was just… Well, a diet every single day
of Korean spicy noodles is not really recommended, but still. Anyway, so I went to American Eagle and I wanted to try to find a pair of shorts
and shorts were my enemy, I hated looking at myself in the mirror and seeing shorts that did not fit me anymore. But I found a pair of shorts,
really distressed shorts, and I found these distressed black jeans, distressed is really in right now, so, I mean. And I went to the room,
I picked up a size 14 in both and lo and behold – I had such a good time. I even filmed a video of it,
of me dancing in the dressing room and I posted it on Facebook and on Instagram and I tagged Carrie and she retweeted it. And yeah, it was a fun time. I wanted to cry, but instead of crying because I felt like crap wearing clothes – I remember last year when I was
finding a dress for New Year’s Eve and I was crying ’cause I hated
absolutely everything, but then I found one that actually
made me feel nice – I was crying happy tears. But I found these American Eagle jeans and I tried them on and I was so happy. Actually, now I remember,
I got both the size 12 and a size 14
in both the pants and the shorts, and the size 12 wasn’t too bad but I like more of a looser fit and that might still be part of my brain being like, “No, no, get the bigger size
because you don’t want to see things.” But it was just more comfortable
to sit in a size 14 and I didn’t hate looking in the dressing room like when I would go to H&M and get the biggest shorts or biggest pants
that I could find and they were snug and I hated seeing it, and I’d be upset but I’d still buy it because I had this weird thing where I had to only stick with H&M
or whatever, I don’t know. But I got these pants. I looked at myself
and all I could do was a little dance. The only thing I cried about
was the price tag, because oh, my God,
American Eagle is expensive. Now they were doing
a buy one get one half off, but then that was still expensive
and now I know, shop online, most of the time it’s cheaper. And now I know that I can
enjoy jeans shopping again and since then I bought new pants
for the colder seasons because I don’t want distressed jeans when I’m going up north
because it’s cold and it’s gonna get snowy up north. And they fit. One’s a little loose
because my waist is smaller, see up here I’m more like, in. But my… well,
my stomach sticks out a lot but my butt and my hips
and my stomach stick out. So, that’s where it gets weird with jeans. So, that’s a little bit weird but the fact that I even went up a size and was feeling great, does wonders, and I have Carrie to thank for that because it’s just… it’s so nice to have somebody to relate to because you kind of look the same and they help you with finding stores
that will fit you better. And also, she’s getting me into thrifting, which is a bit of a dangerous territory. But I found two of the cutest cat shirts because of thrifting now,
so, thank you. I also went to Old Navy because a lot of you told me
when I was posting on Instagram, the dancing video that I did, a couple of you told me to go to Old Navy and I watched her Old Navy video. And I did find two pairs of jeans,
also holy crap, the only thing I cried at
was the price tag. There were two other jeans
that were a size 14 that didn’t really quite fit me,
which was a little bit unfortunate. But, instead of being sad about it – well, I was a little sad ’cause I really did like the jeans
that didn’t fit me – but instead of like really
beating myself up over it, I was like, not my size. It’s cool, let’s just put it down,
find something else. (sigh) In a way I’m glad that they didn’t fit because I thought that they were
significantly cheaper than they actually were when I went to go check out
and I got really scared, didn’t wanna- “Oh, peace out, I’m not going to buy them.” I needed them but I was like (VOCALISES)
So, yeah. Miss Carrie Dayton,
I thank you for being on this planet. I thank you for doing what you do
on your channel because you’re right, there isn’t… at least, there may be some
in a deep, deep hole of YouTube, but I haven’t been able to find
a lot of midsize women on YouTube. If you know of any,
please leave them down in a comment. But it was really hard to find someone
and really relate to. You came through. And actually because of Carrie
I also found Leah. Leah’s Life. Who I also enjoy watching. Now, does this mean
that all of my problems, all the things, the bad things in my head
have just gone away and I am miraculously cured
of my issues with food? No, this is years and years of undoing and this is still a journey
that we all have to go through and that’s with therapy and whatever else. But, if this woman did not show up
in my recommended feed one day, I could not… I don’t know where I would be right now. I would probably still be struggling
with my closet and with stores. But, now… There will still be bad moments when I’m a little bit sad about stuff. I think that’s normal. But man, there’s been improvement. Also, I’m very happy to say, that Carrie now captions her videos
on her main channel, anyway. She came to me asking about it. And I was so, so happy. And even better, she gets them up
before the video goes live, so even better. I’ll have her channel link down below, if you might be going through
the same issues as me, and you’re really trying to find
someone to relate to, I’ll have a channel link down below and I hope that she helps you
in the way that she has helped me. And like I said before,
if you have any recommendation, please leave them in the comments. I do watch Sierra. She also captions her videos,
I found that out, but I don’t really know of
a whole lot of other people besides those three and Leah, you know. So, please leave them
down in the comments. I’d love to get more of these people
in my subscription feed. If you would like to help translate this video, I will have a translation link down below
in the description box. Give this video a thumbs up, share it with your friends on social media if it helped in any way. Give this video a thumbs up, a comment, share it with your friends on social media
if it helped you out in any way. Thank you for taking the time
out of your day to watch this video and I will see you later, bye. (MUSIC PLAYS)

9 comments

  1. New #MyAccessibilityMyChoice designed shirts are on sale through November 30!
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    If you like my work and would like to support it, feel free to leave a tip or buy merch:
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  2. SO excited to watch this video 🙂 I love Carrie Dayton! You should check out Sierra Schultzzie too. They collaborate pretty frequently and both spread the awesome message about loving your body <3

  3. You're beautiful rikki inside and out and you look amazing a youtuber saved my life you are such a positive impact in my life love you rikki

  4. This took a lot of courage to admit, I admire it.. American Eagle and Abercrombie is where I get all my clothes from.. My style consists of ripped jeans and flannels.. also save kittens! :0

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